You love your partner. Part of that love means wanting to protect them from harm. This means if you see someone or something about to hurt the person you love, you do what is necessary to protect them even if it’s at your expense. But what happens if you are the person that could cause them harm? There are times when as a human, you mess up and do things your partner would not be happy about. When that happens, you now have a dilemma. Be honest with your partner and possibly hurt them or keep the problem from them, figure it out on your own, and protect them from pain. While being 100% honest may be unrealistic, you have to understand the risk of protecting your partner by keeping things from them.

When you decide to keep something from your partner, you have made a choice for them. You have taken away their decision and their opportunity to participate in the relationship. Along with that, you have created secrecy in the relationship that could lead to a misunderstanding in the future. If/when your partner finds out, not only will they have to grapple with the initial harm that you were worried about but also a subsequent harm of knowing their partner is capable of hiding the truth.

Sharing difficult truths and problem-solving often strengthens relationships. Being honest shows your partner you trust them even when yo know they will not be happy with you. Working together to resolve the issue creates lasting bonds. Give your partner the chance to handle their negative emotions about the situation and show they can still love you regardless of your mistake.

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